Part
1: "And great was its fall!"
Many of you are contacting me with questions about
my marriage reconciliation. My husband and I have overcame the most
difficult of hurdles, but still have many obstacles to conquer through
Christ. We experienced two separations for a total of more than three
years.
Blessedly, I share with you the lessons the Lord has taught us…the hard
way. “Good understanding gains favor, But the way of the unfaithful to
God’s Word and principles is hard.” Proverbs 13:15 NKJV (italics
mine)
There is an old joke, “If it is true that girls are prone to marry
men like their fathers, it stands to reason why many mothers weep so much
at their daughters’ weddings.”
I tend to march to the beat of a different drummer. I did not marry a man
like my dad. With no frame of reference, you talk about complicated. I
could not refer to my father’s personality or my mother’s reactions
for interpretation.
I was not born with the instinct to grasp my husband’s idea of respect.
Nor did my husband intuitively love me in the way I desired. Enter the
beginning of unhappiness. Where was the marital bliss for which we signed
on?
From here, our marriage began spiraling downward. Neither of us doing what
was necessary to place the Lifesaver around our spouse. We were each
concerned about our entitlements and rights. In the midst of the panic, we
were drowning the other whom we claimed to love.
Intentional? Absolutely not! If truth be told, we wanted to love and
cherish each other, but our histories did not equip us with the necessary
tools to build up our home. Instead, we each carried in some dilapidated
building materials called baggage. Separately clinging to our own
construction manuals peppered with our own opinions. We thought our plans
were biblical, but while we “knew” the words, we could not conceive
how they joined to build a home.
With separate blueprints, our house was quickly becoming jerrybuilt. When
we found each other’s progress interrupting our own perceptions of our
architectural masterpiece, we would dismantle it with our words, actions,
and attitudes. “The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish pulls
it down with her hands.” Proverbs 14:1 NKJV
Furthermore, we deceived ourselves to believe it was on the foundation of
the Word, when it was on the groundwork of self. “And the rain
descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and
it fell. And great was its fall.” Matthew 7:27 NKJV
Please join us tomorrow for Part 2: "Be Transformed"
(The Dance of Romance: Love and
Respect in Marriage is a multi-part series sharing
the challenging lessons I am learning about marriage, respect, love, and
romance. My heart's prayer is the Lord may be glorified in my marriage and
yours too!)
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